Real Marriage with Dr. Edward and Beth Sri (Part 1)
Want to hear about real married life? In this episode, Dr. Sri is joined by his wife Beth Sri to share about the realities of marriage and their own experiences in marriage. They also share about their new book: The Good, the Messy, and the Beautiful: The Joys and Struggles of Real Married Life.
Snippet from the Show
Marriage cannot be based on feelings, but rather it must strive for a love like God’s; a love that is merciful, generous, and compassionate.
The Good, the Messy, and the Beautiful: The Joys and Struggles of Real Married Life
Dr. Edward and Beth Sri are excited to share their new book which is available for pre-order now!
Enjoy a short excerpt from the book below:
There is a journey God wants to take you on in marriage. He uses your vocation, more than almost anything else, to form you, shape you, mold you, sanctify you. Jesus doesn’t just want to meet you in the chapel, in the sacraments, or in your daily prayer time. One of the most important places Jesus wants to meet you is in your vocation—in your spouse and children. It is the main instrument Jesus uses to draw your attention to your imperfections, work on your weaknesses and sins, and invite you to grow in virtue. It’s the key setting in which he calls you to be healed of your wounds and makes you whole. Most of all, it’s the number one place he sanctifies you, calling you to love like he loves.
Edward: When I was single, I heard the idea that Christian marriage is all about getting your spouse to heaven. So, when Beth and I got engaged, that noble ideal inspired me. I wanted to take my role as a Christian husband very seriously: I envisioned living my married days praying for
Beth, praying with Beth, making little sacrifices for her, and making sure that she prayed every day and had time for faith formation in her women’s group and frequented the sacraments. I would be an amazing Catholic husband, leading my family in prayer, in catechesis, and most of all by my example. I was going to be a spiritual leader in our home. “That’s my mission, after all—to help Beth get to heaven!”
Over time, however, I realized that the main way I help Beth get to heaven has little to do with my high ideals of being a great Catholic husband and spiritual leader in the home. The main way I actually help Beth get to heaven is this: every day of her life, Beth has to deal with me!
Every day, she has to deal with my many imperfections, faults, and sins. My forgetfulness. My impatience. My selfishness. My pride. My quirks and idiosyncrasies. She has to deal with me hurting her or letting her down—when I say something with that tone of voice. When I forget to say thank you. When I’m overwhelmed and dump my stress on her. When I don’t think
things through as carefully as I should. Given the many weaknesses she has to encounter in me every day, I’m sure Beth gets many centuries off of purgatory!
I say this in a somewhat joking way, but there is a profound truth to this. In marriage, God brings two fallen human beings together for this intense, lifelong union. In that union, all our imperfections come out. We often misunderstand each other. We hurt each other. We let each other down. In marriage and family life, we have countless opportunities to love as Jesus loves us. To love freely, completely like he did—even when he got nothing back in return.
Order Dr. Edward and Beth Sri’s book today to read more!
Starting with an Ideal
It isn’t uncommon to encounter engaged couples or newlywed couples that have strong ideals for their marriage. They intend for their marriage to be an outward sign of God’s love. They want their marriage to show others what marriage is intended to look like. Their marriage will be a tool for evangelization. These are not bad ideals. In fact, they are great things to strive for. However, so often a couple will hold these ideals and then a year or two into marriage, they are faced with reality. They are faced with struggle. This is ok. This is real.
Don’t Worship the Feelings
A really important thing to understand when it comes to marriage is to not worship the feelings. If we rely on feelings in a relationship, we are going to be disappointed. If we depend on feelings in order to believe we are loved or that we have a good relationship, we are in for a struggle. The love that we ought to strive for in a marriage is a love like God’s. Look at the love of Christ on the cross. It didn’t feel good but it was love that is merciful, compassionate, and generous. That is the sort of love we need in our marriages.