7 Tips for Raising Daughters

You might not know this, but Jeff is a father to all daughters. In this episode, Jeff is joined by Steve Motyl, who is also a father to all girls, to talk about what they’ve learned from their daughters. You won’t want to miss hearing them discuss a passage from the letter of James that reveals the seven marks of a wise father.

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Shownotes

• God is your child’s first Father:
  • There’s confusion when it comes to Proverbs 22:6 –people often stop at “Train up a child,” thinking that they need to control their children and determine where they go in life and who they become.
  • But In Hebrew, this verse says “Train up a child in the way that they are going” (emphasis added). Fathers should not force their children into becoming who they want their children to be, but rather help their children discover and become the persons God has created them to be.
• 4 Calls of Fatherhood
  1. Image the Heavenly Father
  2. Protect their children
  3. Teach their children
  4. Lead their children
• Ephesians 6:4 –
  • “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger”
    • We need to remember we are fathers, not owners.
• James 3:13-18 – A Guide for Fatherly Wisdom
  • ¹³ Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good life let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom. ¹⁴ But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. ¹⁵ This wisdom is not such as comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, devilish. ¹⁶ For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. ¹⁷ But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, without uncertainty or insincerity. ¹⁸ And the harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.
• 7 Tips for Raising Daughters
  1. Be “Pure” Have no ulterior motives…fathers must not be manipulative
  2. Be “Peaceable” Model right relationships with others that are free from bitterness and strife. And when it comes to relating to your daughters, sometimes there’s a wrong time to say the right thing.
  3. Be “Gentle” Gentleness does not mean weakness, it means “sweet reasonableness”—do not let yourself lash out in anger. Know your trigger points, whether it be alcohol, work stress, money stress, pornography, etc.
     • If you struggle with pornography or any other addiction, it is a mark of strength to seek help!
     • (Check out Integrity Restored for great resources to help you heal and break free from pornography).
  4. Be “Reasonable” Do not be stubborn. Admit when you are wrong, even to your children.
  5. Be “Full of Mercy” God’s love wants to meet your daughter’s pain, and since you are called to image God the Father, you must meet your daughter’s pain with your love.
  6. Be “Without Uncertainty” Your daughters (and sons) need to know that they can count on you, no matter what. Be consistent and be present.
  7. Be “Without Insincerity” the Greek word, hypocrite literally means “actor.” Don’t be an actor…this doesn’t mean you need to be perfect, but your daughters will be very aware if you are being duplicitous or insincere.
• The blessing Jeff gives to his daughters every day:
  • Numbers 6:24-26, the Aaronic Blessing: ²⁴ The Lord bless you and keep you: ²⁵ The Lord make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you: ²⁶ The Lord lift up his countenance upon you, and give you peace.

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