Be My Guest: Dating and Relationship Questions with Dr. Mario Sacasa

Fr. Josh is joined by special guest Dr. Mario Sacasa. They answer questions on how to discuss the discernment of marriage in a relationship, when and how to share your past, what to do when the person you have feelings for does not draw you closer to God, and how to set appropriate boundaries in a relationship.

Snippet from the Show
If it's not for my holiness, it is not for me.

Dr. Mario Sacasa

Interested in Dr. Sacasa's series Dating Well? You can find out more information and purchase the series here.
You can also follow Dr. Sacasa on Facebook, Instagram, and Linkedin.

Glory Story (3:43)

Questions

How to Talk About Discerning Marriage in a Relationship (10:00)

Hi Fr. Josh. At what point should you start seriously discussing marriage in a relationship? I know that you shouldn't date someone if you're not interested in marrying them, but when do you start talking about it intentionally? I'm nervous that if I bring it up too soon, my girlfriend might get uncomfortable and think I'm moving too fast. Advice?
-Matt

When and How to Share Your Past in a New Relationship (19:13)

Hi Fr. Josh, I was baptized Catholic as a baby but never really went to church or learned much about the faith. I had a conversion in college and really started taking my faith seriously. I recently started dating a really great Catholic girl. She knows that I didn't really start living like a Catholic until a couple of years ago, however, I think I need to share more about my past. I'm not a virgin and I know I need to share this with her. When do you do this in a relationship (tell people about your baggage)? I don't want to tell her too soon, but it also feels kind of dishonest not to tell her. Thanks for the advice!
-Anonymous

Developing Feelings for Someone Who Do Not Draw You Closer to God (28:40)

Hi Fr Josh, I have recently found myself developing strong feelings and an attraction to someone in my life who does not bring me closer to God. Although he is baptized an orthodox christian and shares some similar beliefs, we live with different values (e.g. he doesn't strive for chastity and I do). I find myself struggling more with weakness and temptation when I am around him. I value our friendship but know intellectually that a relationship wouldn't feel right with this person. I'm confused about how to handle this kind of situation and if you have any advice for when we develop feelings for people who aren't bringing us closer to God.
-Gemma

Setting Boundaries in a Relationship (36:00)

Hi Fr. Josh, my boyfriend and I are both Catholic and when we started dating, we talked about boundaries and made them pretty clear. However, we do struggle with the boundaries and my boyfriend thinks we might need even stricter boundaries (no hand holding or hugging). So, I have two questions. 1. Is it normal to struggle with your boundaries? At one point in the struggle is it actually bad? 2. I would really struggle to not even get to hold my boyfriend's hand or hug him? It seems really drastic and I would be sad to lose that part of our relationship. Thank you for advice!
-Cate

---