The Sacraments of the Catholic Church are sacred channels of grace instituted by Christ to deepen our relationship with God and sanctify our souls. Among them, the Sacrament of Reconciliation shines as a profound gift of mercy, renewing our bond with the Lord and strengthening us on our path to holiness.

Regular Confession not only restores us to a state of grace but also serves as a compass for our spiritual journey, drawing us closer to God's heart.

If you’ve ever wondered how to go to Confession, what to say, or why it is so essential to the life of faith, this comprehensive guide offers the answers. Step by step, we’ll guide you through preparing for and receiving the Sacrament of Reconciliation, helping you encounter the boundless mercy and healing love of our Heavenly Father.

What Is Confession?

In order to fully unpack how to go to Confession, we should first know what this sacrament is. Confession––also known as the Sacrament of Reconciliation, of Penance, of conversion, or of forgiveness––is counted among the Seven Sacraments as a Sacrament of Healing (see Catechism of the Catholic Church #1423-1424). Sin offends God, breaking our communion with him and damaging our unity with others (see CCC #1440). To restore this rupture, we must seek forgiveness from God and be reconciled with the Church. Fr. Mike Schmitz refers to confession as “the costly mercy of God in action.” The sacrament of Confession makes the reality of God’s love present to us, frees us from sin and shame, and facilitates a harmonious relationship with God and others.

How to Go to Confession

How to find Confession times at your parish

There are a few ways to find out exactly when your parish offers Confession times. Check the parish website, where the times may be listed as "Sacraments," "Sacramental Life," or even posted under "Mass Times." If none of these appear, try the bulletin––most parishes now have their bulletin online––or contact the parish office. 

If the Confession times at your local parish are not ideal for you, other parishes around you might offer a wider selection or more feasible hours. Some parishes also add extra Confession times or a special penance service during Advent or Lent. A priest may also be willing to hear your Confession by request or to schedule another time for you if circumstances require it, or if you are returning to the sacrament after a while and anticipate that your Confession will take a long time.

How to Go to Confession When You Are Nervous About It

It can be hard to gather the courage to face your sins in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. The best way to overcome your reluctance is simply by going. If fear or shame continue to hold you back, though, here are some reassuring reminders:

• If you are intimidated at speaking all your wrongdoings aloud to a person (i.e. the priest), know that our Lord told Saint Faustina, “When you approach the confessional, know this, that I Myself am waiting there for you. I am only hidden by the priest, but I myself act in your soul” (Diary, 1602).
• Although it is the priest whom we see, he is acting “in persona Christi,” in the person of our Lord, and thus it is God who forgives our sins in his loving Divine Mercy. Furthermore, your sins are forgotten and will never be told to anyone, as the seal of Confession in canon law binds priests never to disclose the sins of penitents. Your sins are dissolved in the ocean of God’s mercy.
• Ultimately, pray to the Blessed Mother for peace. Ask her to help you prepare well and to accompany you spiritually as you approach her Son, Jesus Christ, through this sacrament.

How Often Should I Go to Confession?

Catholics are required to receive the sacrament of Reconciliation at least once a year. You should genuinely consider coming to Confession more often than once annually (perhaps once a month or every few weeks). The more frequently you go, the easier it becomes: your soul is cleansed and strengthened, you become better at examining your conscience, and more grace becomes available to you. 

How to Prepare for Confession 

There is a good way to prepare for Confession. In Confession, your soul is absolved of sin. On your part as the penitent, approach Confession with a firm purpose of amendment, that is, with the resolution to change your sinful ways and come closer to God. This involves three movements: repentance, disclosing one’s sins to the priest, and the intention to make reparation (see CCC #1491). To begin this process, the important preliminary step for how to go to Confession is examining your conscience. 

What Is an Examination of Conscience?

An examination of conscience simply involves reflecting on one's thoughts, words, and actions according to the moral teachings of the Catholic Church to identify where one has sinned.

Fr. Mike Schmitz concisely defines sin as “knowing what God wants and freely choosing to do something else.” A good examination of conscience will identify mortal (serious) sins and thoroughly pinpoint venial (lesser) sins. Mortal sins involve grave matter and are undertaken with full knowledge and deliberate consent from the will. They destroy charity in the soul. Venial sins are lesser offenses that merely weaken interior charity in the soul, but they often have the potential to escalate into mortal sins (see CCC #1854–1863).

How to Make a Good Examination of Conscience 

A good and thorough examination of conscience will identify wrongdoings in regard to God, others, and oneself. If you are not sure where to start in examining your conscience, consider:

• The Ten Commandments (Exodus 20:1-17), which thoroughly and helpfully specify grave matter.
• The Beatitudes (Matthew 5:3-11) –– ask yourself: “am I doing what Christ asks in each one, or am I not?”
• The 7 capital sins, also known as the 7 deadly sins (pride, anger, gluttony, lust, sloth, envy, greed) and all the other smaller unholy behaviors that fall under each.
• The Litany of Humility.

Examination of Conscience from Fr. Mike

Here is a video from Fr. Mike Schmitz about finding an examination of conscience appropriate to your age and state in life. 

Should I Write My Sins Down When Going to Confession?

It is a good practice to write down your sins and bring the list with you in the confessional. This keeps you from forgetting something on the spot if you freeze up or your mind blanks.

Will the Priest Ever Judge Me for My Sins?

Don’t worry that you will shock or disappoint the priest with something you confess: they have heard it all. On the other hand, there is no need to obsess or become scrupulous over everything that might possibly be a sin, but it does reflect carefully and prayerfully, asking God to show you the ways that you have offended him. All mortal sins must be confessed specifically and verbally in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. As for venial sins, while they are technically pardoned in the Penitential Rite during every Mass, they should still be brought to the confessional also.

Examining your conscience is certainly a difficult spiritual undertaking that requires fortitude and self-knowledge but is a fundamental element of how to go to Confession well. Keep in mind that this close examination of your soul is not to discourage you about your wrongdoings, but because God is eager to forgive you and bring you closer to him, in spite of all your weaknesses, to his love and mercy.

What to Do Once You're At the Church for Confession

You made it, great––and welcome! The next step in how to go to Confession is locating the confessional and where to get in line. Confessionals may be set up more traditionally as ornately carved little booths or perhaps simply a little room. They are often placed along the side walls of the church or at the back, but may also be located in a side chapel.

How to Find the Confession Line

Typically you will find other penitents standing or kneeling in a row up to the confessional, but some parishes may form their confession lines in a pew. When in doubt as to whether you’ve correctly identified the confession line, feel free to ask someone whether they are in line. Even if they are not, perhaps they can direct you to the actual line, or where you should go to begin it.

How Do You Know If Someone Is In the Confessional?

If you are not sure whether the confessional is available, some confessionals have a light above the door that will be red if another penitent is already inside, or green if available. In the absence of these indicating lights, a closed door signals an occupied confessional.

What Should I Do While Waiting for Confession?

While waiting your turn for Confession, pray before the Blessed Sacrament, continue prayerfully examining your conscience, or read a spiritual book. Avoid scrolling on your phone or chatting with the person behind you in line: distraction makes it difficult to orient your soul to the Lord in true contrition. 

How to Make Your Confession: Step by Step

Once you’ve entered the confessional and closed the door behind you, you may find the option to either speak with the priest face-to-face or to kneel behind a screen for anonymity. There is no right or wrong choice. If you prefer one over the other but are not sure whether it is an option, feel free to ask Father.  

What to Do and Say When You First Enter the Confessional

1. Kneel or sit down. You can kneel behind the screen if confessing anonymously or sit in the chair if face-to-face with the priest. Some priests initiate with a prayer or greeting, while others proceed right to the Sign of the Cross. Still others might remain in silence until you begin, but don’t panic! Start by making the Sign of the Cross, and state approximately how long it has been since your last Confession (this assists with accountability and gives the priest a sense of how to guide you).

"Bless me (or forgive me), Father, for I have sinned. It has been ___ [weeks or months or years] since my last Confession.”

How to Say Your Sins in Confession 

2. Simply state your sins: Be straightforward yet specific in listing your sins. If you can, mention the number of times you committed them. Conclude by saying something along the lines of “I am sorry for these and all my sins.” This indicates to Father that you are finished and covers any lesser sins you might have inadvertently forgotten. (Note: mortal sins must be specifically addressed in the confessional; a mortal sin that is deliberately withheld is not forgiven. If you genuinely forget a mortal sin, you are conditionally forgiven for it but should confess it as soon as possible once you recall it).

What Does the Priest Do After I Say My Sins in Confession?

3. Penance: After hearing your sins, Father may offer some brief spiritual counsel that will help you overcome your sins and transform your soul in Christ. He will also give you a penance, which “can consist of prayer, an offering, works of mercy, service of neighbor, voluntary self-denial, sacrifices, and above all the patient acceptance of the cross we must bear. Such penances help configure us to Christ, who alone expiated our sins once for all.” (CCC 1460).

Pay close attention to the penance that Father assigns to you. It is important to complete the act of confessing your sins by fulfilling your penance.

When Do I Say the Act of Contrition in Confession?

4. Act of Contrition: Next, the priest will ask you to pray aloud the Act of Contrition. There are different versions of this prayer (the priest may even lead you in one of his own choosing), but here is the most common form: 

"O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee, and I detest all my sins because of thy just punishments, but most of all because they offend Thee, my God, who art all good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of Thy grace, to sin no more and to avoid the near occasion of sin. Amen.”

When Is the Moment My Sins Are Actually Forgiven in Confession?

5. Absolution: The prayer of absolution is the moment when all your sins are forgiven by God through the divine authority given to the priest. Father will extend both his hands (or perhaps just his right hand) toward you and proclaim the following prayer:

“God, the Father of mercies, through the Death and Resurrection of his Son, has reconciled the world to himself and poured out the Holy Spirit for the forgiveness of sins; through the ministry of the Church, may God grant you pardon and peace. And I absolve you from your sins, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.”

Make the Sign of the Cross as the priest blesses you, and at the end of the prayer, respond, “Amen.”

When Is Confession Over?

6. Dismissal: The priest concludes the rite of confession with joyful words of praise to God. You might hear him begin, “Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good,” to which you respond, “His mercy endures forever.”

Then, he might dismiss you with a prayer, such as: 

“May the Passion of our Lord Jesus Christ, the intercession of the Blessed Virgin Mary and of all the saints, whatever good you do and suffering you endure heal your sins, help you to grow in holiness, and reward you with eternal life.” The response is: “Amen.”

Or simply: “Go in peace.” You should respond, “Thanks be to God!”

In taking leave of the priest, it is kind to say something like “Thank you Father, and God bless you!” or “Thank you, Father, I will pray for you.” When you exit the confessional, be sure to leave the door open for the next penitent.

Is There Anything I Have to Do After Confession?

7. Perform your penance: It is not enough to simply confess our sins––God’s mercy requires that we make reparation and seek to change our ways. Performing your penance carries out your firm purpose of amendment; seek to do so as soon as possible, to complete your confession. If the priest assigned prayers, you can complete this step in the church, once you exit the confessional. Offer a prayer for the priest who heard your Confession as well!

If you can, take some time after the sacrament to pray in thanksgiving and to adore God for his merciful forgiveness before you depart the church. And, if you made a written list of your sins, be sure to dispose of it properly. 

Congratulations! You just completed your Confession! Your soul is clean, and your past sins are no more! Praise God! 

Frequently Asked Questions About How to Go to Confession

How often should I go to Confession?

The Church requires that we come to confession at minimum once a year (see Catechism of the Catholic Church #1457). This is primarily because the Church requires Catholics to receive Holy Communion at least once a year (at Easter), and mortal sin must at least be confessed in preparation for that. However, an annual confession is not nearly enough to regularly keep our souls in a state of grace, so it is in your best interests to return to the sacrament far more often.

How long does Confession take?

While it often depends on the priest and whether he chooses to offer words of counsel after hearing your sins, a standard confession lasts about three to five minutes. 

The more frequently you go to Confession, the better you master the process, and hopefully, it also means having fewer sins to Confess. Eventually, you may even find two or three minutes is all that is necessary for you––no need to feel self-conscious if your confessions are short. Matters of spiritual advice should not be addressed while in the confessional, as it can make your Confession inconsiderately lengthy. The confessional is not the place for conversation or therapy, and other spiritual questions should be reserved for another time out of courtesy for the priest’s schedule and for other penitents in line. 

Is Confession in the Bible? Did Christ himself really institute the Sacrament of Reconciliation?

Yes! There is a scriptural basis for the Sacrament of Reconciliation in the Gospel when Jesus gave the teaching authority of the Church to his apostle Peter, instituting the papacy: “You are Peter, and on this rock, I will build my Church, and the gates of Hades shall not prevail against it. I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven” (Matthew 16:18-19). In this last line, Christ gives the power, in fact the prerogative, of forgiving sins to the ministers of the Church.

Furthermore, upon appearing to his twelve disciples after his Resurrection, Jesus gave them the power to forgive sins when he "breathed on them, and said to them, 'Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained'" (John 20:22-23). 

The New Testament letters written by the apostles to churches in many different places are also full of teachings on repentance and the call to sin no more, affirming this sacrament. For example, see 1 John 1:9: "If we acknowledge our sins, he is faithful and just, and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

Why do I have to confess my sins to a priest? Can't I go straight to God? 

Non-Catholic Christians may object that there is no need to confess one’s sins to a priest when we can speak to God of our contrition in private prayer. Christ entrusted the power of forgiving sins to the teaching authority of the Church. Therefore, we have an obligation to hand our sins over to those with the power of the keys to be loosened. Being absolved by the priest in the Sacrament of Penance guarantees that our sins are forgiven by God with a certainty that is not possible if we simply bring our sins to God in private. 

God chooses the priest to stand "in persona Christi" (in the person of Christ), representing Jesus to the faithful just as Jesus represented the Father. By following God's plan for our repentance and seeking forgiveness of our sins through Confession to a priest, we receive abundant sacramental graces. 

Here's a video from Fr. Mike Schmitz that can explain more on this topic:

Will the priest ever tell someone else the sins I said in my Confession? 

No. Your sins will never, ever be revealed. The Seal of Confession in Canon Law binds priests never to disclose the sins of penitents, even at the cost of their own life, under pain of excommunication. "The sacramental seal is inviolable; therefore it is absolutely forbidden for a confessor to betray in any way a penitent in words or in any manner and for any reason” (canon 983). Your sins are dissolved and forgotten in the ocean of God’s mercy.

What if I'm not comfortable going to Confession in person? Can I go to Confession online or over the phone? 

Although many things today can be done via digital technology, the sacrament of Confession and sacramental absolution can only be administered in person. God ordained the sacraments to operate in a material reality through matter, time, and space. We must be present before God–both physically and spiritually–in order for him to heal us. The sacrament of reconciliation is no exception. Listen to Fr. Mike explain this in greater detail.

How am I supposed to remember all my sins throughout my life?

It can be daunting to remember all your sins throughout your life. Ask the Holy Spirit to assist you in recalling, identifying, and confessing your sins. Set aside time in prayer to examine your conscience closely and consider the state of your soul through your words, actions, thoughts, and intentions. 

In examining your conscience, especially if you are returning to Confession after a very long time, focus on periods of your life, and write down your sins as they come to mind. Do your best to recall mortal sins. Habitual Confession also helps in this regard. 

What if I don't know the Act of Contrition by heart?

Most confessionals have the text of the Act of Contrition posted inside for easy reference. If this is not the case and you do not know the Act of Contrition by heart, let the priest know, and he will guide you through it. You can also feel free to bring a copy into the confessional with you! 

What if I haven't been to Confession in years?

Welcome!! What a gift that Our Lord has given you the desire to return to him! It’s natural to be nervous about coming back to the Sacrament of Reconciliation, but don’t let hesitation keep you from coming. Let yourself be found! Your Heavenly Father is eager to welcome you back, and so are your brothers and sisters in the Church. Priests also consider a sinner’s return to the Lord through the Sacrament of penance to be an occasion of immense joy––many consider such a day among the greatest in their lives! 

Know that the priest hearing your Confession is there to help you: inform him that you are returning after a long time and how you feel about it. Tell him that you will do your best to make a good and thorough Confession, but that you cannot remember the exact number of times you have committed each specific sin. More than likely, he will be extremely willing to make things easy and assist you through the process. Feel free to print off a Confession guide and a copy of the Act of Contrition to assist you in the confessional. If identifying the sins you committed over such a long time seems overwhelming to you, start with serious sins (mortal sins) and then all the ones you can remember.

Fr. Mike’s advice: “I would recommend you talk to the priest at some point and say, 'Father, it has been a long time since my last Confession. Do you want me to go to the normal Confession time, or should I schedule time with you?' You can email him, call him, or ask after Mass sometime. This way, your priest can guide you and make sure he can offer you the time and attention you need.”

Is there a limit to how many times I can confess the same sin?

There is no limit to the number of times you can confess the same sin: the Lord’s forgiveness is unlimited, for he knows how fickle and stubborn the human heart can be. However, if you have already confessed a sin in the past but have not committed it since that Confession, there is no need to confess it again: it is already forgiven. Only confess the sins that you have actually committed since your last Confession (or any you forgot the last time). 

Have you been committing and confessing the same sins over and over again and find it frustrating? Listen to Fr. Mike’s insight on how to “rewrite the script.”

What if I forget to confess a sin in Confession?

Nervousness or bad memory might cause you to unintentionally forget to confess a mortal sin. Your Confession is still valid; you are conditionally forgiven for that sin. You should confess it as soon as possible once you recall it because mortal sins must be specifically addressed in the confessional, and a mortal sin that is deliberately withheld is not forgiven. 

Each and every Confession forgives any and all venial sins you may have forgotten because your intention was to contritely lay everything at the foot of the Cross. Venial sins that you might have forgotten are forgiven at every Mass through the penitential rite (this is why we do not have to go to Confession for venial sins but only for mortal ones before receiving Holy Communion). 

However, next time you go to Confession, do your best to mention any venial sin you forgot the last time. Why? Not out of scrupulosity, but because, as Fr. Mike Schmitz emphasizes, this is about repairing a relationship–––the union between you and God is at stake. Think about it: when it is necessary to mend a broken relationship with a loved one, it is important to go back and apologize for something that you might have forgotten to address before that divided you from that person.

Can I receive Communion if I have unconfessed mortal sins?

No, you can not. It is a sacrilegious offense against God to receive Holy Communion if you are aware of unconfessed mortal sin on your soul. If you are avoiding Confessing a mortal sin, you should not approach Holy Communion. 

The Catechism of the Catholic Church emphasizes: “Anyone who is aware of having committed a mortal sin must not receive Holy Communion, even if he experiences deep contrition, without having first received sacramental absolution unless he has a grave reason for receiving Communion and there is no possibility of going to confession” (CCC #1457). Grave reason, as mentioned here, typically means being in danger of death, and the person must resolve to go to Confession as soon as possible.

If you genuinely forget that you are guilty of mortal sin and still approach Holy Communion, this is not a sin although it is an unworthy reception of the Eucharist. The act is still objectively wrong, although you did not purposefully do it as a sin. Still, you must confess the mortal sin you are guilty of and this unworthy reception of Communion as soon as possible.

What is the difference between venial and mortal sins?

Mortal sins involve grave matter and are undertaken with full knowledge and deliberate consent from the will. They destroy charity in the soul. Venial sins are lesser offenses that merely weaken interior charity in the soul but often have the potential to escalate into mortal sins. See #1854-1863 of the Catechism of the Catholic Church for further information.

What are the benefits of confessing venial sins?

Regularly confessing our venial sins “helps us form our conscience, fights against evil tendencies, let ourselves be healed by Christ and progress in the life of the Spirit,” and makes us more merciful as God is merciful (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1458). Confessing our venial sins frequently and consistently grants us sacramental graces that will help us avoid even these smaller sins.

Can the priest give me advice during Confession?

The priest can certainly give you advice during confession, and many choose to speak a few words of spiritual encouragement or guidance based on something you have confessed. Whether or not he gives you advice is up to him, as he is not required to do so.

What if I'm not sorry for my sins?

In short, you must be sorry for your sins to have them forgiven in the Sacrament of Reconciliation, otherwise, it is an invalid Confession. One of the fundamental three actions of the penitent is to be contrite, which means having true sorrow for our sins, when we come to Confession. We should be “heartily sorry,” as the Act of Contrition says, for having offended God and his goodness. 

Is Confession only for Catholics? 

Yes: the Code of Canon Law of the Catholic Church states that “Catholic ministers administer the sacraments licitly to Catholic members of the Christian faithful alone” (canon 844). To participate in and fully embrace the precious gifts of grace offered in the sacraments, one must be a baptized Catholic.

Are some sins so bad they can't be forgiven?

The Church teaches that God’s mercy is so great that no sin, no matter how serious, can be forgiven. However, our free will as human persons also impacts our forgiveness, so if we deliberately refuse to accept God’s mercy by repenting, we reject forgiveness and the grace of salvation offered us by the Holy Spirit (see Catechism of the Catholic Church #1864).

What exactly is penance in Confession? What if I forget my penance?

Your penance “can consist of prayer, an offering, works of mercy, service of neighbor, voluntary self-denial, sacrifices, and above all the patient acceptance of the cross we must bear. Such penances help configure us to Christ, who alone expiated our sins once for all” (CCC #1460). In regretting our sins and confessing them, we must have a firm purpose of amendment, and this intent to reform ourselves involves beginning to repair the damage our sins caused. God’s mercy requires that we not only confess but also make reparation and seek to change our ways.

If you forget your penance, go before the Blessed Sacrament and pray something that might typically have been given to you as penance (if you have confessed to the same priest multiple times, you might know his habitual assignment). Sometimes our penance is so ordinary that we forget; or it could be that the priest forgot to assign you a penance (if you notice before you leave the confessional that Father forgot, don’t hesitate to remind him). Either way, the next time you go to Confession, let the priest know that you forgot or did not receive a penance last time and what you prayed instead so that he can tell you if you should add something more.