We live in a time when loneliness echoes louder than laughter in crowded rooms, and I believed etiquette could be the balm. But what we found was something more profound.

Somewhere along the way, the world has become a place where notifications replace conversations and curated posts stand in for authentic connection. It's not just a personal feeling, but a social failing. In the effort to fill this void, I dove headfirst into schools of etiquette, which promised to open doors to connection, only to be left wanting more.

Rediscovering the Works of Mercy

In many communities, etiquette was once the primary language of kindness. We learned to say "please" and "thank you," to chew with our mouths closed, and to dress modestly. These gestures were not empty. They were rooted in the desire to honor others, but too often that desire stayed at the surface.

The deeper we went with our effort to elevate etiquette to the standards of our faith, my co-authors, Elizabeth Marcolini and Claire Couche, and I realized something profound:

We didn't have a new idea. It was an old one. Timeless.

It was the Works of Mercy.

The Origin of the Works of Mercy

Where do the works of mercy come from?

The Church has long regarded acts such as feeding the hungry, visiting the sick, and burying the dead not as optional kindnesses, but as essential expressions of faith. They're not just good manners, they're Gospel mandates.

The Works of Mercy were drawn from Matthew 25:31-46, where Jesus speaks of the Last Judgment and identifies himself with the hungry, the thirsty, the stranger, the naked, the sick, and the imprisoned.

From the earliest days, Christians lived out mercy as a response to receiving this gift from God. These acts weren't social service—they were sacramental. Over time, the Catholic Church codified these practices through the teachings of saints such as St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas, as well as in The Catechism of the Catholic Church (2447).

Where etiquette says, "Don't offend," mercy says, "Don't abandon." Where etiquette says, "Be nice," mercy says, "Be near."

What Is Mercy?

Mercy doesn't completely discard all my etiquette lessons or certifications. A warm smile or a thoughtful gesture can be acts of mercy when rooted in love. But mercy also: 

• Gets messy (feeding the hungry, visiting the sick)
• Gets uncomfortable (bearing wrongs patiently, forgiving others)
• Gets personal (counseling the doubtful, comforting the sorrowful)

More than just how we behave, mercy is how we belong to each other and how we love our neighbor. Mercy isn't passive—it's a form of spiritual resistance against these Times of Indifference. 

To the problems of the world, there's an answer that should've been clear from the beginning: Jesus.

We're called to be Christ to one another, to serve with humility, and to love without counting the cost. But what does that look like today?

Maybe you and I are similar: I haven't washed any dusty, travel-weary feet. 

The Corporal Works of Mercy

Practical ways to practice the corporal works of mercy  

Corporal Works of Mercy – Mercy in action, embodied through care for physical needs.

• Feed the hungry: Every meal shared is a shield against loneliness. Have extras? Invite the neighbors or take a plate to your elderly neighbor. 
• Give drink to the thirsty: Mercy quenches more than thirst, it acknowledges the body's cry and the soul's worth. Try keeping an extra bottle of water to hand to someone on a hot day.
• Clothe the naked: Covering someone is not just protection; it restores dignity. It’s a call to action to clean out the closet and donate to your local shelter.
• Shelter the homeless: A roof may shield from weather, but mercy makes a home in the Sacred Heart of Jesus. Contact your local shelter and see how you can best support their ministry.
• Visit the Sick: Presence beside suffering says, "You are not forgotten." Send a card or sit with someone recovering from surgery.
• Visit the imprisoned: Mercy crosses locked doors and speaks of hope. Write letters to inmates or donate books to prison ministries. 
• Bury the dead: Even in death, mercy offers reverence and remembrance. Attend the visitation and/or the funeral, or pray at a graveside.

The Spiritual Works of Mercy

Practical ways to practice the spiritual works of mercy 

Spiritual Works of Mercy – Mercy for the soul.

• Instruct the ignorant: To teach love is to illuminate without shame. Share a favorite faith-based book. 
• Counsel the doubtful: Mercy listens before it leads. Listen patiently and pray with someone facing a hard decision. 
• Admonish sinners: Correction without compassion is noise. Mercy whispers truth with tenderness. Gently guide a friend toward healing, “Let’s talk about what’s weighing on you.”
• Bear wrongs patiently: Patience transforms injustice into witness. Respond to criticism with grace, especially in family or ministry settings. 
• Forgive offenses willingly. Forgiveness unchains both the giver and the receiver. Pray a Rosary for the intentions of the person who hurt you.
• Comfort the sorrowful: Sometimes, comfort is showing up with gentleness and staying longer than expected. 
• Pray for the living and the dead: Mercy echoes through intercession. Light a candle at church, or keep a list of names in a prayer journal.