Virtue and the Freedom to Fail

God is not overwhelmed by our failures. Dr. Sri explains how we can avoid the danger of perfectionism and self-reliance as we strive to live a virtuous life. 

Snippet from the Show

God uses those moments of failure to help us grow in more profound ways. 

Shownotes

The Danger of Perfectionism

In various spheres of our lives—parishes, schools, and homes—there's a tendency to uphold an ideal of virtue that, while inspiring, can also place an immense burden on us to achieve perfection. This can lead to feelings of discouragement and shame, especially when we inevitably stumble. The pressing question becomes: How do we ensure we are embracing an authentically Catholic vision of virtue, one that acknowledges our human frailties and the necessity of God's grace?

A Call for an Authentic Vision

A recent speaking engagement at a Catholic school illuminated my reflections on this issue. I chose to share insights from my book, “The Art of Living: The Cardinal Virtues and the Freedom to Love,” focusing on the real essence of virtue. True virtue isn't about personal perfection. It's about our relationships and the love we extend to those around us.

I've learned that growing in virtue not only enhances personal holiness but crucially impacts how we love and engage with others. Simply put, the virtues we cultivate in ourselves are meant to be shared and to bless those we love.

Virtue and the Freedom to Fail

If I were to add another chapter to my book, it would be titled “Virtue and the Freedom to Fail.” There's much conversation about virtuous living, but it sometimes overlooks a critical element: the reality of our human weaknesses and God's mercy within them.

Pelagianism was a heresy from the early Church that failed to acknowledge the profound wound of original sin. Virtuous living isn't simply about trying harder or adhering to a plan. It's about recognizing that despite our efforts, we will fall and that's okay—because there's a profound opportunity to encounter God's love right there.

The Power of Grace

A conversation with a friend recently highlighted this notion. Reflecting on Thomas Aquinas’ writings, it became evident that Aquinas doesn’t merely advocate for more effort. Rather, he emphasizes grace—a supernatural transformation that goes beyond our natural capacities.

The Catholic understanding of virtue encourages us to accept our limitations and rely profoundly on God’s grace. When we make efforts and still fall short, God’s intention is not for us to lose hope but to grow spiritually through dependence on Him.

Accepting our failures

Pope Benedict and St. Catherine of Siena offer profound insights. They suggest that our frequent failures are not failures per se but opportunities for deeper humility, inviting us to depend more on God. It is in our continual reliance on God that we are shaped.

Shakespeare, too, hints at this in "Measure for Measure": "The best men are molded out of their faults." It’s through our imperfections—acknowledging them, learning from them—that we grow.

Encountering God in Our Imperfection

As we strive to grow in virtue, accepting that our path will inevitably include failures, we must not see these moments as setbacks. Pope Leo the Great pointed out that St. Peter, despite his profound denials of Christ, became a pivotal leader after experiencing unconditional divine love in his flawed humanity.

So, I invite you to reflect on a current area of failure or struggle in your life. Rather than view it with self-reproach, consider how God perceives you in this imperfection. He delights in you and holds you lovingly, even amidst your weaknesses.

Dr. Sri's Events List (2025)

• May 16-17: Ave Maria Retreat - Ave Maria, FL
• June 8 - Rockville NY
• June 22-30: Rome Pilgrimage - Italy
• Aug 2-5: Grand Getaway - Mackinac Island, MI
• Sept 13 - Marriage Weekend - Fort Collins, CO
• Sept 20 - Eucharist Encounter - Tampa FL
• Aug 9: Emmaus: Diocesan Family Conference - Gary, IN
• Oct 8: Legatus - Jacksonville, FL
• Oct 11 - Love and Responsibility Conference - Los Angeles CA
• Oct 13-15 - Madison WI
• Oct 22-24 - Missionaries of Charity - Memphis TN